I didn’t have the time to write a proper goodbye message to you because I did everything a few hours before you guys arrived at my house. I just arrived in LA two hours ago. I will waste no time in composing a message to you first because you are my #1 best friend (in the Female category at least!) and my iPad battery is running out.
I just wanted to let you know that I am not in any way pissed off or whatever at you. I have been very busy lately and the feeling of finally leaving is very overwhelming (even stressing) as I have to leave my comfort zone here. I can’t think too much at a time. (In fact I believe why I didn’t study for SPM was because I spent too much time daydreaming about USA). When I arrived in LAX it was a little depressing (besides the gloomy foggy weather) because everyone else has their friends and family menyambut kedatangan diorang. I wish you were there with the gang, calling my name and holding a signboard with my name on it.
Please don’t take it any other way. If I hurt you, I’m sorry, I did not mean to and did not intend to. I just wanted to let you know that I am fine and it’s okay. Never did anything change of what I think of you; as my best friend. I know you were very busy.. very very busy. And that’s not my fault or yours – that’s life. We cannot do anything about it. But I felt so touched when that one time, you replied my message after about a week or so because you wanted to find a time that you were truly free to reply to me. Deep down I care very much about each and every one of you and I was very happy that you guys were able to send me off. I know that you have a tendency to take things to the heart so I felt the need to write this to explain to you. So we cool, ok?
Also I want send you the highest, setinggi-tinggi punya regards and thanks for organizing my farewell party. And for sending me off. And also for the scrapbook – it really means a lot to me. I really love it and I have read it through twice during the flight from Taipei to Los Angeles. It brought tears to my eyes and the old man sitting next to me asked me wether I’m okay in his very basic English (he joined the flight from Taipei). You may be small but you definitely think highly of your friends and the most hardworking ever. Thanks for making my transition into another life much easier, knowing that my friends back home are always there for me.
Just remember – I never hated you, or gave you the cold shoulder, even if it seems like it. Trust me, when you’re about to leave, you’ll feel the same way too.. your mind WILL be in a total klutzeroo. Now I know how Rezman feels when he went to Vietnam. Moving away sucks, no matter how much you want it or how much you need it! You have no idea how guilty I feel for being the most unresponsive fuck ever but I hope you will understand that deep down inside I love all of you guys and I have enjoyed my time there with all of you.
All in all, I love you a lot, Siti Nabilah! (Feels weird calling you that but it’s cute LOL). And thanks for everything, the good times we’ve had, everything. Hopefully you didn’t get the wrong message.
I promised that I’d keep in touch with you. This is a start. Here’s to a good life and success in our tertiary education. Cheers! *raises imaginary wine glass*
Sekian terima kasih,
Afiq bin Ahmad Feisal
Awwww, you’re forgiven buddy! :’) You were forgiven way before you wrote this message anyway. I see, I guess I won’t really know how it feels to leave everything behind until I myself am leaving, right? But I understand. It must really suck. We’re all here for you buddy. 🙂 But I felt so much more broken than I already am with the way you treated me yesterday. Butttt, Rez was the one who told me otherwise, that you wanted to act like you didn’t give a fuck to see if everyone really appreciated you and all that. That really hurt me though. DON’T BLAME ME FOR BEING EMOTIONAL, REZ WAS THE ONE WHO PUT THAT MINDSET IN MY MIND! D: But anywho, did you like, read my blogpost or something? Cuz I’m sure there are stuff that I mentioned in the previous post that I didn’t in the scrapbook. However, I’m glad the scrapbook made you cry. 🙂 I wanted to make sure you could feel the love. It’s unfortunate that not everybody could contribute in making the scrapbook because they were all busy and some were just plain oblivious about it (Hazim) so my part was partiallly on everyone else’s behalf.
I’m relieved to know that you arrived there safely. I’m sure you’ll do just fine there but if ever when you fall down and you need someone to get back up, I’m always here. However, I can’t guarantee that I’ll be free for the rest of the year or anything, you know how I am. I’m always busy, that’s the life of a career woman after all. I pray for your success and for you to be able to cope with the lifestyle there but not forgetting about your origins. And remember, always keep in touch and update me! Knowing that you’re doing fine over there will relieve me and I won’t have to worry so much. LOL.
Anywho, once again, I’m sorry if you thought I was being a douche and for thinking that you were being a douche. How can I forget, you’re my best friend, you’ll never have any intention of hurting me, just as I never meant to hurt you too. So yeah, we cool bro. 🙂 Those times we shared were priceless. If only we could’ve spent more time before you left. Never mind, next time you come back here, we’re camping! Hehe.. And sorry for the previous post. Rez was the one who told me you were treating me like shit to get back at me! And, honestly, that’s how I felt. I was already so broken and you hurt me even more with the way you treated me. But I understand now, so it’s okay. I did cry though. You’re an ass, but I still love you. :p And I miss you so much goddammit! 😡
Lots of love,
Siti Nabilah binti Ahmad Muzaffar.